Growing Up/Right vs. Wrong

So recently I’ve been bombarded with the intensely real notion that at some point one has to “grow up” and face reality. That there comes a time, I suppose even multiple times, when you can’t keep escaping from/ignoring all of those things that make life difficult; whether this be some external stimulation like a trying class or stressful relationship, or some internal force telling you you’re not good enough. Once you reach this point, the desperate wishes for things to be different may rush in to try and bring some sort of balance to a now turbulent thought pattern. All of those things you were oblivious to as a child suddenly sound so appealing and all of those reasons for things you did that you were told not to do, make blatant sense. Thoughts of regret creep to the surface that threatens to overwhelm the present and inevitably cloud any conclusions made about the future. No longer as competent as you once thought, every action and decision requires too much time to bring to fruition, and confidence turns to a fumbling, awkward, disaster zone. Withdrawal seems like the only way to go. Just enough time to stop and think before proceeding with at least some semblance of the elusive instinct that tells you what’s “right” from what’s “wrong”. But by who’s definition is something right or wrong? Of course there has to be some agreement among the populous regarding these things. But as soon as you start playing that game, it’s more likely than not that you quickly come to understand the meaning of the word exception. If there are numerous definitions for the words right and wrong, depending on the person you ask or the situation in question, then the task to always do the right thing seems insurmountable and you become paralyzed. Paralyzed with fear for what consequences your decisions/actions will have. Possibly how it will affect someone else more than you. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but it’s more acceptable when you’re young and you don’t have the life experience yet. So as you get older, this safety net gets smaller and smaller, causing a dramatic increase in the pressure to do what’s right. So you look to the things around you like the people in your life who’ve been through similar situations, popular culture references that can have some smidgen of truth, or “experts” that get paid to help you on your journey. In the end it still has to come down to the individual to act in the appropriate manner, to weed out the bad advice from the good. And in the end it’s that individual who will have to own up for what happened, for better or worse.